This is a long one! I hope someone makes it to the end!
Can opinions be wrong?
Ok so I was pursuing through blogs yesterday and I came across a particular post that bothered me so much I had to respond to it. It was a post written by the kinkyworldofvile entitled “Women were put here to Serve.” While I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion, sometimes someone’s opinion is just inaccurate. Let me list of a few examples.
Those who are of the opinion that a D/s relationship is abusive. Wrong.
The practitioners in Westboro Church who believe that homosexuality is the reason for all evil. Wrong.
The British, who deemed that Africans were lesser humans and therefore, could be enslaved. Wrong.
Hitler, who thought that Jews were the cause for all evil. Wrong.
I am not talking about the actions that all the people I mentioned above undertook due to their believes. I am talking about the belief in and of it self. What they did because of their believes is irrelevant to what I am discussing here.
When examined all of these opinions are wrong because they are generalization of a group of people based on egotistical believes and inaccurate and convoluted facts.
Women were born to serve?
In his post Vile discusses his opinion about how women are put on this world to serve. Let me be clear that he never condones abuse or mistreating of women. As a matter of fact before you read this post take the time to read his original post that that I am referring to (linked at the top). Now if he was talking about servitude in the context of certain D/s relationship then this is fine (although as far as I know there is the vice versa as well). Also this post wouldn’t have irked me so much if it had talked about how some women were born to serve because some women truly believe that is what they were born to do. That is their choice. However, Vile’s statement is meant for all women in general. Here’ s a direct quote.
“Now back to the original topic women were put here to serve. The evidence starts with Eve, although he fucked things up from the start, because he thought with his dick, he was afraid if he didn’t eat the apple eve would cut him off.
Then the 60′s came along with the Bra burnings , women want there independence, they wanted equal rights, and most subs and slaves will disagree with this notion. Women going to work is what really fucked up the work force. Unemployment would not be near as high, if that bitch had not burned the first bra.”
Social construct vs. biological construct
Adam and Eve? Maybe this is my overly scientific and analytical mind speaking, but is religious fantasy ever evidence of anything in this day and age? Yes. It is an overly male dominated world (although this is changing drastically as time passes). Do you know why? It has nothing to do with Adam and Eve (although religion definitely greatly perpetuated female oppression). It’s because men on average are physically stronger. In the twilight of humanity, when we were hunters and gatherers, physical dominance ruled because that’s how you were going to get fed and stay safe. So practicality deemed while the men hunted and protected, women stayed at home and tended house and child. So began the patriarchal society we see in the modern world (even there were certain cultures where the man was not in charge).
This system, this idea that men are in charge is a societal construct. It is not to be mistaken with a biological construct. Biologically speaking, the only thing that we are born to do is survive and pass on our genes. In today’s society, we as women don’t need a man to survive. So that societal construct from prehistoric times is thrown out the window like last season’s fashion trend.
No human is born to serve. They may choose to serve. They may be forced to serve. But there is no gene that encodes servitude. No hormone or enzyme that increases your servility. Society teaches us it and then beats it into our head at a young age so that we believe that is the way things have to be. But as Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King teaches us the status quo is not always right. People are easily manipulated and they become comfortable in an unjust system. Only when someone takes a stand does that system change.
And so the first bra was burned in the 60s to challenge an unjust oppression of a group of people. Long gone is animalistic warrior that was ruler of the prehistoric age. Physical dominance doesn’t equate power anymore. You need more than that to survive. Humans have evolved. And from it women have started to open their eyes to the possibility of living for themselves and no one else.
***(Speaking of evolution, it is interesting to know technically, men are mutations. The Y chromosome is a mutation of the second X chromosome in females. So the genotype XX {female} probably came before XY {male). The story of Eve being created from Adam may most likely be quite the opposite. But this is a biological debate which involves so many other things that I won’t get into it here too much)
Women in Workforce
As for women in the workforce causing the rates of unemployment to drastically increase, I’m calling bullshit on this statement. This one might be one of THE most ridiculous things I have heard.
First of all women joined the workforce initially because of WWII labor shortages, a long time before the burning of the first bra. Eventually through access to education, the feminist movement, equal rights and increased economic strain, women in the work force became more prevalent and are ever increasing today. One of the main things that caused this shift is the rise of service sector and the decline of the manufacturing sector. The Economist stated it well when it wrote, “When brute strength mattered more than brains, men had an inherent advantage. Now that brainpower has triumphed the two sexes are more evenly matched.”
Now that we have cleared up why women have entered the workforce, let’s see how it has affected the economy. In a 2007 study, Catalyst, a research and consulting company, showed that companies with the highest representation of women board members attain significantly higher financial performance than those with the lowest representation: 53% higher Return on Equity; 42% higher Return on Sales; and 66% higher Return on Invested Capital. (Joy, et al, 2007) Doesn’t seem like we are so bad for the economy?
And then of course there is the fact that as women enter the workforce and create their own companies, they in fact increase job availability. In the U.S, about 10.1 million firms are owned by women (50% or more), employing more than 13 million people, and generating $1.9 trillion in sales as of 2008. (WBO statistics). We are not destroying the economy. We are creating jobs. In fact according to Goldman Sachs, female employment rates have huge implications for the global economy, boosting American gross domestic product (GDP) by as much as 9%, Euro GDP by 13% and Japanese GDP by 16%.
Moreover, as women earn more, they spend more. Yet, another boost to the economy! I mean, what more could a consumer capitalist society want than more consumers right? Now I am not saying that the working woman doesn’t cause some negative effects. But those effects center more on increased stress and the breakdown of the family unit than it does on unemployment rates. These effects don’t mean women shouldn’t be in the workforce, it simply means we need an overhaul of our social and family system.
Domestic Rape
Now after the bit about unemployment and women in the workforce, Vile continues to write “Women were put here to serve, Domestic and sexually. It kills me when I see on the news a woman is filing charges because her husband raped her, get the fuck out. Seriously how does a man rape his own wife? This is where the Government has gotten to deep in our personal lives.”
Woah! This is something I never want to hear coming out of any male I know, whether they are a Dom, or my boyfriend, or just my friend. I don’t know if this seems so bad because of wording. I mean it is pretty easy to see how a husband can rape his wife. She says no. He forces here down and roughs her up a little and fucks her. That’s pretty much it. Plus if your husband is willing to force sex on you then it is more than likely there are other forms of abuse going on. Non-consensual sex is rape. Now as I understand in some D/s relationship there are rules set out and the submissive has already agreed to these rules before had. Therefore, consent is implied from these rules (or acceptant of these rules is consent). This is not true in every other relationship. If there isn’t consent, its rape, no matter whom it is between. Marrying someone does not give them the right to your body.
Domestic Servitude
As for women being put here to serve domestically or sexually, this is a bit ridiculous isn’t it? Do you think it was necessary for God or evolution to create a whole other sex just so you don’t have to do your own laundry? Um…I don’t think so. Every household is different. If a woman wants to do all the domestic chores, then more power to her. Let her do it. However, if she is working and she wants to split the chores then work it out. Or heaven forbid she’s the only one working, and your sitting on your lazy ass at home all day. Man the fuck up and do the chores. Domestic duties being woman’s work is a silly outdated concept.
Sexual Servitude
Now as for men’s sexual desires, why in God’s name would women subject themselves to the whim of that? After all as women, we are the choosier sex because we have the higher investment of energy into our offspring. Guys are the equivalent of the peacock (aptly named) flashing its feathers for female attention. So in the hierarchy of things (biologically), we hold the power. Once again, if a woman wants to be sexually subservient to a man (and sometimes I do in the bedroom) that is completely up to them. Go ahead. It can be a fun time. If you want to do this 24/7, hey, no one is stopping you. Your choice, your desires as long as you consent to it.
Women Wants and Desires
Vile ends his post by writing, “Being a submissive or slave does not mean you do not have rights. You have the right to express yourself as well as your needs, your wants come later. So yes women were put here to serve.”
So being a woman doesn’t mean you have no rights. Just lesser rights. Forgive me for not finding this comforting. This dynamic that he talks about works in some D/s relationship because it is an exchange of total power. Its what the submissive woman wants. But to apply it to all women is a gross generalization. I have no desire to serve a man constantly and always put his wants ahead of mine. All women aren’t submissive. I most definitely am not. Oh I love kinky sex and being dominated. But do I want to submit to a man completely, 24/7 (or really ever outside of some bedroom fun)? Hell no! And this is not something that I have looked at on a whim. I am not some naïve uneducated little girl blowing smoke on something she understands little of. I grew up in the middle of this. I have done my research. I know that always submitting to a man would not make me happy. There is no man out there who I would do that for.
Of course if I love you, I would do anything in the world for you if you ask me to. The operative word being ask. Tell me to do something and you have another thing coming. Order me to do something and tell me that my desires are secondary to yours and I will punch you so hard it will make your head spin! (Ok I am way too weak and small for that, but rest assured I would hit you with an object heavy enough to cause the same effect). I have a career (That’s right. I’m one of those ruining the economy. So sue me). I am independent. Not to say I would be completely ok if I was alone. Humans are social creatures. We don’t do alone very well. But do I need a man? No. Do want a man? Yes. But I want a man who I can call my equal. Hell, I’m greedy. I want a man who thinks I’m more than he deserves.
Now all this is not to say that I consider serving someone a bad thing. But for me, if I don’t get the same service (or equivalent) in return when I need it and want it, well… there are plenty more frogs out there to kiss. I believe in a strong relationship, you serve each other. And the division of services is different for every couple. A woman doesn’t necessarily have to serve through domestic chores and sex. Just like a man doesn’t have to serve through monetary means. I don’t believe there are any gender specific tasks. Work it out according to your desires, your situation, and what you think will make you happy.
Women aren’t born to serve. They are born to live their lives out the way they see fit. If you want to spend your life as a stepford wife with the kink thrown in then by all means go right ahead. There is nothing wrong with that. Other women may have no such desire for servitude. Nothing wrong with that either. It’s our choice. We are humans. Not wild animals without reasoning capabilities, born to serve one function above all others. This is my opinion as an independent working woman, who was NOT born to serve anyone. Disagree with me? Prove it. I want hard facts. Not arbitrary thoughts backed by little proof.
The Words that Slipped Through 